Thursday, August 20, 2015

Déjà vu

I’ve been enjoying the peace in my heart these days. Al on the mend again gives us much needed peace of mind. He looks so healthy again, and he is so full of life right now that it exudes from his person. He has HOPE once again. I give all glory to you GOD. Seeing him smile, laugh and embrace life fills my cup. His laugh…. Oh his laugh, let me tell you it makes you smile and laugh right along with him. I can tell Junior feels more at ease around Al. It seems like he’s letting his guard down and engages in conversations with Al these days. Slowly I can see that wall coming down piece by piece. Junior would always avoid him, he was afraid to let him in. I understand why he felt that way it was scary to open your heart up to Al at one point because Al was so entrenched by his addiction and nothing really matter to him but heroin. But as of right now in this very moment hearts are healing once again. Thank You GOD!

Tuesday I went to a family therapy session with Allen at Calvary. We had to fill out this packet that we had to read to Allen. I procrastinated all week… the thought of telling Allen my sorrows from my tattered memories weighed heavy on my heart. I woke up with migraines for three days a stiff neck and a stiff back from the tension. I seriously lost my ability to handle stress. I really can’t handle it well anymore, it’s strange. However the stress it caused me last week was all for nothing because Allen took it so well, handled it like a man and was remorseful about the pain he caused us. I see him growing into a whole new person these days. The Allen 40 days ago would have been angry and bitter and defensive and would have avoided taking any responsibility but my son has emerged. On the drive home Allen and I were talking about the meeting and how this month’s past events all fell into place. He said to me as if he had an epiphany “IT WAS GOD mom, it was God. He’s been helping me all this time.” As he was talking I had a déjà vu… an out of body experience. I was looking IN on our conversation threw the front windshield of my car. Maybe it was from all the emotions floating in the air?

Allen has pulled himself back into the present and my heart is healing.

1 comment:

Liz said...

Thank you GOD..