Allen has always been the type of person who liked change. He didn't mind trying new things either. His first day of school my entire core family went to see him off. (Smiling) I remember him walking in the school like he owned the place. So bright eyed and full of grit. As we walked into his new class room he just kept smiling at everyone as he looked around checking out the scenery, he didn't say a single word he just kept smiling as he looked around in awe. We found his assigned seat and he sat down looking at us with this great big smile, he was ready to go. I just whispered in his ear telling him "I love you, be a good boy and play nice." He gave me kiss and I walked to the door where my family was waiting. We all where waiting for him to run after us as we walked out the door saying good bye. But he didn't... he just looked at us like "I'm OK, you guys can leave now". hahaha! His childhood was filled with so many good moments like that. That year was filled with many first... his first time away from me, his first field trip, his first time on the big yellow bus, his first best friend.
Al and I were lucky. We had a man in our life who took care of us. His daddy may not be his blood but he might as well be... because my husband loves Al so much he would give him his last dollar if he thought it would help him.
I wish he knew how we hurt for him everyday. How he's always on our mind. How not a day goes by without his name mentioned. My husband and I are drifting apart. The stress of all these years of struggle and now the stress of not hearing from him and not knowing where he is or if he's OK is talking it's toll on us. I don't know if we are going to make it. At this point it really doesn't matter because our life will always be in crisis, and we don't handle our stress well at all. We're broken!