Monday, December 8, 2014

Week Two

21 days clean! I forgot his week prior to detox.
17 days in treatment!

It was such a wonderful weekend despite my medical report. Can you believe I said that? I HAD A WONDERFUL WEEKEND! From start to finish I had moments filled with love, laughter and peace. What's going on here? It takes my breath away... GOD whispered to my heart and said "the timing is finally right, you are ready; time to revel my plans for you". The thing is he wasn't just talking about me, I think he was preparing all of our hearts. Lining up things, setting the stage for us, putting all the RIGHT people in the RIGHT place at the RIGHT time. When Al's addiction first started, we where empty, hurting, starving for something. We moved along our day uncontentious... BUT we didn't know it. Through Al's addiction God has opened our eyes and our minds. He was preparing our hearts for a greater calling, to be what he created all of us to be. Benevolent!

My weekend ended with us going to see Al and attend one of his meetings. He called it his "home meeting" because it's specifically for Heroin addicts, (HA) Heroin Anonymous. It was a small group of men, maybe 12 guys. Al invited us to attend this meeting so in support of his recovery we went not knowing what to expect. What I saw and heard may scare some people but not me. I saw the beauty of their hearts, the hurt and the scars of people who are fighting for their life. It was all I could do to HOLD back my tears as they spoke. I wanted to show Al I wasn't going to break down, that I was strong. Randomly they all spoke about their week and their heavy hearts. As each one told their story I wanted to jump out of my chair and just hug them!! All of a sudden I hear Al say " Hi I'm Al and I'm an addict" the room echoed as they all said WELCOME AL. He started to speak about his addiction and as I sat there watching him talk my heart started to swell with pride. He spoke looking at the ground only looking up a few time at the meeting leader. I could tell it took a lot of courage for him to do that in front of us. But he did it... he openly spoke with us there listening. I have never been prouder of my son!!!!

As the meeting closed they all huddled into this round circle putting their arms around each other including us!! It was intimate and spiritual as the all started praying the Lords payer... Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen. I couldn't speak, my body was frozen and I felt a chill go though me and every hair on my body stood up... I looked up at Al and watched as he tightly squeezed his eyes shut saying this prayer with conviction, with all his heart. I teared up and in that one moment I felt the peace of God. I just stood there staring at my beautiful boy trying so hard to focus on himself and for the first time I saw him fighting for his life. I'm so happy right now!

Oh about my medical report... I got my test results on all the testing they did. They found out I have an atrial septal defect (ASD) it's a hole in the wall between the two upper chambers of my heart. I've had since birth I guess. I'm in that small percentage of people that didn't heal as I grew up. It's what caused my stroke. Most likely I will have to have surgery to fix it. I see a cardiologist this week. I'm not afraid, I can handle this.

If I die today I will die happy and at peace! My friend calls this feeling "a Jesus high" I think I'll savor this moment and enjoy the high! 

Isaiah 26:3
3.You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

No comments: