I'm in a really dark place right now. I feel anxious all the time. I'm trying to gather myself so I can go back to THIS battle again but I'm finding it harder and harder to pick myself up after each fall with Al. He just doesn't understand... there's no real happiness for me until he get's well.
I bumped up my therapy sessions and started going to a new church for a change... taking a cores called "Healing From The Inside Out", hopefully it helps. I might even go to some Al-Anon meetings if I can fit them in my day. I'm on anti-depressants, taking sleeping pills again because I can't sleep. I get by with my day to day routines, but my heart is broken and it hurts all the time. So there you have it... A day in the life of an addict's Mom.
I love my son so much. I love him with all my heart and soul. I long for the day he get's help and recovers from his addiction. (Tears) Until then, everyday is hell. Because everyday he's using there's a chance he will die and that's the truth of it. Heroin holds him hostage!
I'm just so tiered anymore!