Tuesday, May 6, 2014

It Is What It Is... Right?

I got an invitation in the mail this past week to a graduation. Al's friends are graduating from collage and moving on to UofA. Once again the reality of where he is slaps me in the face. Al should have been graduating from the same college too. Theses boys started out together in grade school, then high school then college... and then they all had planned on going to UofA together. They are all going but without Al. It hurts so much watching all his friends thriving and succeeding only BECAUSE my son should be right there beside them. I should have been sending out my sons announcements also and planning his party too. (shaking my head right now) These normal joys we as parents are suppose to be having have been stolen from us yet again. I'm starting to get use to this feeling... you know, being disappointed.

I never got to watch him graduate from high school either. He got kicked out of school his senior year and ended up having to finish at an accelerated high school. Well he didn't finish on time at that school so no ceremony there. However he did finally pass that following summer and picked up his diploma and I was proud of him for that. Ohhhh who am I kidding this sucks!!! It's down right depressing and from the looks of it, it's not changing anytime soon.

... take a deep breath Ana...it is what it is!


Liz said...

I'm so sorry. I feel the same way. Most of my daughters friends are graduating college with their Bachlor's or Masters degree... Those who didn't go to college have learned a trade or have gotten full time jobs, apartments, bough a home or car. While my girl is in prison. I avoid going to these parties because it hurts too much.

Anonymous said...

It's been an emotionally rough week. I have beat myself up a bit more than usual.

Friday was my son's birthday. He was born on Mother's Day in 1982. And here we are on the brink of another Mother's Day.

Someone that I don't know well asked me if I was a parent. I said yes, and she continued to ask questions. “A boy or a girl? “How old?” “Where does he live?” “Do you have any grand children yet?”

She had no idea how painful those questions were.

I am not sure if it is politically correct to say “my son is an addict and because of years of emotional and financial torment, I had to let him go to do whatever he was going to do”.

Probably not.

Every day, I think about him. I wonder about where his “bottom” is and why it just doesn't come so he can find some happiness.

I am thankful for some of the peace I have found. But I realize it is still a very long journey.

Al's Mom said...

Liz & Anonymous.... This prayer is for you!

Think, o God, of our friend who is ill, whom we now commend to Your compassionate regard.

Comfort him upon his sickbed, and ease his suffering. We beg for deliverance, and submit that no healing is too hard for the Lord, if it be His will.

We therefore pray that You bless our friend with Your loving care, renew his strength, and heal what ails him in Your loving name.

Thank You, Lord.