Thursday, April 3, 2014

And So It Begins, The Jail Phases

As I lay here in bed I can feel my heart pounding. I'm stressed... broken, I'm feeling pretty low. I lost my job this week, my son is so so lost and my body hurts, everything hurts.

I got a call last night at 11:46pm. A recorded message played saying “This is a collect call from the Maricopa County Sherif’s Department, Madison street jail from “AL” do you accept? I was half asleep when I answered the phone. As I woke up and accepted the call I hear his voice… “Mom?” Al sounded a little stressed but composed and wanted me to bail him out of jail. $890.00. He said to me “as soon as I get out I’ll pay you back”. Deep breath Ana! They only gave me 60 seconds to talk to him before it hung up on me. He said he had a warrant issued for failure to appear, the phone hung up and I sat there staring at the phone in my hand… dazed, confused, shocked and disheartened I thought to myself “AND SO IT BEGINS, the jail phases”! He attempted to try and call me back 6 times but because my phone is a cell phone it wouldn't patch it though until I did this pre pay thing?? So every time he called it would keep hanging up on me. All I could do was bury my face in my pillow. PLEASE GOD MAKE THIS STOP!!

I got to work and pulled up the sheriff’s website and searched his name… there it was, his mug shot. I looked up his girlfriend’s name and there she was arrested too. My phone keeps ringing, it’s AL, I feel sick to my stomach, light headed the recorded message with AL saying his name was killing me! So I got the prepaid thing situated and I talked to him. I cried... I cried so hard I could barely speak as I told him NO... I will not get you out. Remember I LOVE YOU SON, I'm doing this because I love you so NO!

NO NO NO! My heart hurts so much today! God? Are you there? If so please help us!



5 comments:

Mamma P said...

Oh Ana,I am so sorry you are going through this,no parent should!! AS if losing your job isn't enough stress.I can tell you
having him in jail is a time of respite!!
Isn't that sad to say ? It is the truth and I believe every parent would tell you the same thing.They are off the streets,clean,warm,being feed,and thinking..hopefully of where their using has got them!!
Hang in there..I am so proud of you for saying NO to bail..It is hard..and yes he will be mad..but maybe..just maybe..he will turn him himself around..Big Huggs to you!!

Al's Mom said...

Mamma P... thank you for all you advise and comments. It helps! Keeping my fingers crossed he will wake up so this nightmare can end!

Dad and Mom said...

Hate to hear you lost your job. That's nothing but the shits. Sorry didn't know any better way of saying it. I found work to actually be a respite from the madness at times.

It is called "PROTECTIVE CUSTODY" Protection for him, from himself, and for you. At times it works all around. The only time we got a good nights rest was when he was in protective custody or rehab, but rehab always hurt my checkbook.

I always found it helps to cry scream and cuss. Doesn't change anything, I just found it helps. Cookies and milk does a person good too. (for you not him, he gets stale bread and bologna)

You are not alone! All of us are here for you so don't feel alone. We're all as close as your computer or telephone if you need to talk.

Al's Mom said...

I like the idea of it being "Protective Custody" If I think of it that way it doesn't seem so awful.

I just may take you up on that phone call someday! :) Thank you so much!

Ana

Anonymous said...

Ana,
As Ron said 'We are here for you.' For whatever it's worth, I think you did the right thing.