Monday, March 17, 2014

I Hope You Didn't Think I Forgot About You

My son finally stopped by to see me. My birthday was Thursday 3-13 and I thought he forgot. But around 7:45pm while sitting at dinner he texted me, it said... “Hey mother I just wanted you to know that I wish you a happy birthday. I hope you didn't think I forgot about you because I didn’t. I really do wish you the best day; I hope you can enjoy it to the fullest. I have a card for you. Would it be alright if I drop it off tomorrow? I know it’s not much but I put a lot of time into it and a lot of words from the heart.” My eyes welled up with tears as I texted back saying YES please come by to see me.

He came by Saturday night. (I’m smiling as I type this) He still looks pretty thin but he looked OK, he had a calm sense about him and he seemed content. His hair has gotten really long and kind of shaggy. (Giggle) He looks so cute like that. He was fully engaged in conversation with me and his father. He just got off work. Yes…. he’s still working, and he went back to school part time, thank you lord! He’s still fighting, he’s still trying!! He's still here! (Deep breath)

There are no words that can explain how seeing our son lifted our spirits. As he walked through the front door I wrapped my arms around him and just held him tight. He took four steps in the house and his dad bear hugged him and held him tight too. Then Junior hugged him… I could see the relief in my husband’s eyes as he stared at Al while he was hugging his little brother. We made him a plate to eat and we sat down with him and talked for a couple of hours. My boy is still so loving, he just let me hug on him, he would grab my fingers with his hands as he was talking and lean against me shoulder to shoulder as we sat on the couch resting his head on mine as he was telling us all about his job and what was on his mind. As I sat there listening to him I couldn't help but watch his every move, it was as if I was mentally taking snap shots of that moment to save in my heart and in mind in case I don't see him again for a while. He was talking about his meditation class and how it’s teaching him to calm his mind down and how to center himself. I couldn't help but think… it’s my son talking to me!!! It was Al not the drugs it was my boy at that very moment. I just closed my eyes and listened to his voice allowing myself to let go of the hurt and the anger.

It filled my cup… I think it filled all our cups.

5 comments:

Erin said...

So happy you had this time with your son, this post just blessed my heart.

Al's Mom said...

<3 <3 <3

Susan Mansfield said...

How wonderful for you and your family and how inspiring for others, like me, to read! I hope my son and our family can be there one day! Wonderful, so happy for you!!!

Lilz said...

I am so incredibly happy for you. I feel this exact same way when I am talking with my 'real' daugther...not the drugged daughter.
We love them sooooo

Al's Mom said...

Finally something to smile about! I'll take it.... I'll take what I can get! THANKS FRIENDS! I love reading your comments!