The next morning I came face to face with myself .. I woke up walked into the bathroom washed my face and as I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror what I saw frightened me. I saw a woman who was lost in her sorrow. I look like I've aged 10 years, my hair thinned out from the stress, winkles and bags under my eyes. My body feels like it's 80, aches and pains everywhere and I'm only 43 years old FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. So I closed my eyes... took a deep breath and said to myself you can't fix him he won't let you at least not today, you can't make him see what he doesn't want to see at least not today, you can't keep continuing like this Ana so let it go, at least for today. Allow yourself to be happy with other things without feeling guilty just for today. Allow yourself to continue living this life without him just for today... let it go.
When I did truly let it go just for today, I finally felt some peace. I still think of him and allow myself to be a little sad for a few minute but then I shake it off and move forward... just for today. I'll deal with tomorrow when it comes. :)