Saturday, February 1, 2014

I'm Not Sure I Can Take It

The last couple of days have been weird. My husband and I haven't been feeling well. We lay around the house struggling to find the energy to do something. We both don't want to admit it but we both are pretty depressed and worried about Al. Still no word from him yet. This coming Friday Al goes to court for the car accident he was in a couple of months ago. He was warned by the cop who let him walk from the accident that he's in a lot of trouble, to prepare for the worst. I don't know??? What does that mean?

I've decided not go to his court hearing. I'm not sure I can take it and I'm not sure I can see him right now. Seeing him standing there in front of a judge possibly arrested and taken to jail would set me over edge.... nope I can't do it! Nor can I see him getting away with it and walking out of there without paying for his actions. I'm almost positive he was high when he hit the other vehicle. He could have killed someone and he could have killed himself. My nephew is going for me. He's the middle ground between Al and I. He's my savior. God has a way of placing the right people in our life at the right moments doesn't he? I don't know what I would do without him.

I miss my son so much... Al please open your eyes before it's too late.


Carrm said...

I totally know how you are feeling. Been going through this with my 25 year old son for 9 years. I hate to say it, but when my son is in jail I am at ease knowing he can't hurt himself or anybody else.
It is hard, but try not to let his addiction consume you.

Al's Mom said...

Thanks Carm... It is hard but I'm doing my best to stay busy. Thanks for your comment!

Dad and Mom said...

Your son's actions and consequences belong to him. I know it is easier said than done but you must let him own the consequences. This doesn't mean you don't love him or support him this mean you allow him to learn.

For us we came to see jail as "protective custody". In jail, even though it wasn't a good or nice place we figured he was safer there than out scoring and shooting more heroin. As Carrm said, that was when we were most at peace.

Al's Mom said...

I know... I tell myself that all the time. I wish my heart would fall in line with my head. Thanks friend!