I hear you and understand you so try to do the same for me. You need to remember we are a family, one unit. That's me, dad, junior... Uncle, Nina, Shell, Pooh and Yaya. We are your core. They have been with me since I was eight faithfully and with you since you were born faithfully. They have been there every step of the way. They love you more than words will ever explain... you know this you just forgot. I know who you are too... I see you! I know the hardship you struggle with because I can feel it in my soul. I also know you want a better life. I know you want to be respected, you want to be trusted. Above all you want to be free from this dark cloud that lingers over you. But you'll never be free son until you accept you have a serious problem. IT'S OK!! We don't look at you as a selfish weak person for having done drugs we look at you for who you are and at your addiction for what it is... an illness.There's no shame is saying that. Drug addiction is an illness and the drugs are just a symptom. Until you treat this illness for what it is it will continue to linger in your life and it will continue to infect your relationships with people who truly love you and want to help you. I'm proud of you for finally saying out loud what drugs you've done. But It's pointless to lie anymore about what you're doing now because everyone can see it. You don't look healthy and that's the truth. Your depressed, and your very verbally ruthless. It's impossible to try and talk to you because you get so mad and screaming so intensely and you talk over me to the point I can't get a word in. If you want to prove everyone wrong then let me or dad take you to get assets by a professional in drug addiction. What's the harm in that if you're ok if your clean? If you're really clean won't it feel good to show everyone that they are wrong and they can relax. But I know you won't and I know you'll be mad at me for saying all this. I love you so much... we all do! And none of us are willing to leave you behind. None of us are happy things are a mess but we love you and want you well. Until we know this for certain it will always be a question that will haunt us until our dying day. Because living without you is hell... miserable. We miss you! So why don't you do us a favor and just let us get you help or at least have you assets. I'll never be able to live without you. It kills me... my heart aches and longs to have you back where you belong... with us your family, your core.
DEEP LONG BREATHS.... I don't know what to do anymore.