Christmas is over... finally and I feel relieved. All the happy and joyful stuff just got to me and I shut down. I started feeling this way a week prior and as the holidays got closer I became more anxious and overwhelmed. It doesn't help that I'm feeling a lot of pressure from the family about seeing my son. I've only seen him three times in three months. What to do and what not to do I get it, I understand the importance of my influence and I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, trust me I get it.
I know my depression is getting worse and I'm working on it, but it's not that easy. I just can't shake it off like everyone wants me too, when it's your child that's ill and addicted to drugs it's hard to find happiness on a daily basis let alone on Christmas. I know what I'm capable of and I'm at my limit.
He called about 8:30 pm on Christmas day. Oh my Monkey seeing you is so good for my heart but my soul can still see your affliction and it kills me.