Monday, November 11, 2013

Quiet Moments

It's those quiet moments when I'm all alone in the house that get to me. That's when I can hear my thoughts about my son going around and around in my head. Those are the times when I lose my courage and my hope fades and I can feel my heart ache. I miss him, the real him that's deep within his soul, the boy I raised. I start to think about all the "I should of's" and I beat myself up for it. My son is a drug addict and our family is broken because of it. I was always ashamed to admit it... because our children are suppose to be a reflection of us, right? He wasn't raise this way... I was a stay at home mom! I took him to school and went on field trip with him when he was young! I took him to all his baseball and football practices? I went to all his games? I thought I showed him unconditional love? So how did this happen to my son? I wish I had an answer but I don't. He was my baby, my first born and in his DNA was a piece of me.

I'm not sure why I started a blog... I guess I hope that someone will read this and it helps them.

Thanks for listening,
Al's Mom


6 comments:

madyson007 said...

Me too...some where along the line I must have made a serious blunder. He has a piece of me and a piece of my husband and he is broken. We are all broken.

Not sure said...

I'm so sorry! I feel your pain. God bless you and yours my friend!

ktf said...

thank you for writing this blog....yes it has helped someone....I hope you are able to write more.

Not sure said...

Thank you so much!

Mamma P said...

I hope you have found some peace since starting this blog..It has helped me by writing my blog..if no one else.Please do not blame yourself..addiction does not discriminate..it takes some of the best..through no fault of ours!! It is the culprit! In order to move on in your own recovery as parents.. for yourself & your family you need to be healthy..please take care of you..xo

Al's Mom said...

I'm trying... I'm learning to little by little. I appreciate your support!